So you want to know how I really feel? Ever since I started racing RC Cars my goal was always to win. I started late, I was 16 already, so I had some catching up to do. I practiced as much as I could. When I first went to America I entered the Pro class, because I wanted to see how far off I was from the best. Anything less than the best didn’t interest me.
Just before I started my company I was getting fast, I qualified 2nd at the Euros, I had the best lap in a Euros A main, I checked out in a Worlds semi final by 7 seconds (yes worlds) before flaming out. I was a paid driver traveling the world, and I was about to have a breakthrough race. That’s when I had the brilliant idea of making my own car.
6 years into my super idea, and things just were not going to plan. An insane amount of dedication and work, and no financial success, quite the opposite, and no good results at the races either. I spent the next 2-3 years or so rather depressed and mad. Life wasn’t fun at all because I gave up my dream of winning for this brilliant idea I had of making my own car.
And then things began falling in place. I realised that the best thing about what I am doing, is the journey, I need to enjoy it. Regardless of if I achieve my goals or not, the journey is what matters. At the same time I figured out my car and I began enjoying driving and racing. You remember the “Japanese Magic”? Well the BLACK Edition has “Finnish Magic”, I look forward to going to the track, because the car isn’t limiting me, I run out of talent first. I could start working on my driving. I kissed my girlfriend good bye, and began re-virginising myself. It took me 9 years, but for the 10th year anniversary of my fabulous idea, I’m back where I was, only not as fast as before, in relation to the others.
But now I am happy again, because I have an awesome car, and my company is at a point where I can focus more on my driving and my racing, and one day I will kick everyone’s ass. At some race, some day. That’s why I am writing this at 1:30am, and I am going to get up at 8am tomorrow, drive 1h20min to the track and practice.
What I want is unreasonable, and for me to achieve it, I need to be unreasonable too.
THEQuagraine 
hats off for your journey jq.
self reflection is one big part of it. a lot of people i meet are not able to make 2 steps back to see the big picture and realize what really matters.
keep going!