The Grass is as Green as You Make it

grass

It’s time to head to America for the Worlds, and then China for a few weeks, the Dominican Republic in December, and then America again for the first months of the year. I’m still determined to achieve the goals I set all those years ago, and sitting in the cold dark rain of Finland isn’t going to get me any closer to them.

Usually around the time of a major change in my life situation I find myself thinking “What the hell am I doing, and for what?”. I look at some of my friends and think, you got a wife and a family, a house, a good income. You got it all figured out, must be nice! They look at me, you get to do what you enjoy, you don’t know what your next month will be like, not to mention next year or next 5 years, and you are traveling around the world. You got it all figured out, must be nice!

We all make choices in our lives and those choices largely determine where we end up. I think the key is definitely to understand that life isn’t achieving your goals or arriving where you want, but that life is mainly the “getting there” part. This mainly applies to people who want to achieve something, people who don’t just need to acknowledge that “this is it, I need to enjoy my life right now, because I’m not going to change it.”

So you are stuck in your garden looking at the neighbour’s grass, it’s so wonderfully perfect and green, and you think you know how to get there. So you do that and in the meantime you neglect your own garden. Then after a while you realise that you aren’t getting where you want, and it’s not as awesome as it seemed anyway, and now your own garden is all fucked up, and you didn’t even enjoy yourself trying to get to where you so desperately wanted to be.

The way to do it is to tend to your own garden and keep it in top shape, and then expand from there. If your grass isn’t green, how about you water it, idiot? You have a great garden of your own now, even though it is small, but you are happy with it, just not content. Then one day as you work away at your goals you can buy your neighbour’s house, and knock down the fence, and you finally got it all figured out, must be nice. This isn’t how I have done it, because it’s not easy to do, but I understand that it is the best way. I have a lot of weeding to do.

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